Regretting the Trump Train

By Ravenne Reid on February 20, 2017

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In the New York City streets, 19-year-old Julia Cooper marches with a vengeance. Her poster is creased along the edges from being used so often —taken day after day to different protests. The small rips and bent corners of the cardboard still do not distract from the words written in red sharpie: “Not my president!” Although she makes an effort to join those who share her message, what makes her different from the rest is the fact that she voted for the president.

“At first, I had a sign that said ‘not my president anymore’ because I thought that it was a more powerful statement,” said Cooper, a former Trump supporter. “The ‘anymore’ part of it was my way of telling both sides that I understand where they are coming from.”

Cooper is a self-proclaimed average New Yorker. Born and raised in Manhattan, she is no stranger to subways, Sunday brunch, and shopping on Fifth Avenue. But when it comes to her political views, Cooper tends to stray away from some of the liberal values that are so common among the people of this state. Following in the footsteps of her conservative family, her stance on issues such as abortion and immigration align with the morals of the Republican Party, and this election year was the first time that she got the opportunity to vote that way.

“Voting, in general, is intimidating because sometimes you’re just never sure of how informed you really are or if you are making the right decision,” she said. “I knew that I would get more hate for supporting Trump and realizing my mistake afterward than I would have if I still backed him.”

Still scarring Cooper to this day, liberals would question her judgment and, at times, her intelligence, but conservatives showed no mercy in their accusations that recognized her as a traitor. From then on, she became wary of expressing how she truly feels about President Trump. The best solution, therefore, was to hide the fact that she voted for the man whom she now opposes.

“I don’t deny my choice because let’s face it, the options weren’t the best to begin with,” she said. “You had two or three other candidates who had no chance of winning, a liar, and a successful businessman. There was no comparison.”

Unlike other millennials, Cooper was adamant in her decision to refrain from selecting a third-party nominee. Voting her conscience did not involve backing a presidential candidate whose path to victory was mostly paved by protest votes. So, Cooper weighed her options carefully, and she was certain that her ballot would go to someone who was frank and capable of moving our country in an unforeseeable direction. To her, that person was Donald Trump.

While the first characteristic is up for debate given President Trump’s tendency to embellish facts, such as his take on the economy during the Obama era, the second notion is true for the most part. In just a few days into his presidency, Trump reintroduced ideas that were once dismissed or downplayed before his nomination, then implemented these proposals as executive orders once he went into office.

As of now, the travel ban that the president has executed, which temporarily halts incoming immigrants and refugees from seven Muslim-majority countries, remains as the most controversial policy from the Trump Administration thus far. However, Trump announced this ban over a year ago, so it did not come as a surprise to many of his former or current supporters.

“He did exactly what he said he was going to do,” Cooper said. “How often does a politician do that? Especially with a plan that was unpopular to begin with. Of course, I don’t agree with the Muslim ban, but I think that what we are seeing more and more is the political outsider part of Trump that made him admirable in the first place.”

Cooper was drawn to the Republican candidate because she grew tired of politicians who were more concerned with the money that they received than the people who they represented. Her disdain for Hillary Clinton strengthened as she continued to prove that she fell under this category. What turned her off the most about the Democratic candidate was her detachment from typical, hardworking Americans.

“Hillary Clinton has been a mainstream political figure for most of her adult life, so I sensed the disconnection that she had with blue-collar people from the get-go,” she said. “Trump, on the other hand, is an average American — and I use the term ‘average’ lightly — who mostly wants stronger national defense against people who might be coming here with bad intentions. It’s understandable, but not acceptable, which is why I did have my doubts.”

Cooper recalls tensely clicking her pen in the voting booth. Some of this anxiety came from the typical uneasiness that accompanies Republicans who are voting in a predominantly Democrat state and vice versa. Most of it came from the apprehension that accompanies Trump supporters in a region full of people who pride themselves on anti-Trump values.

Her pen hovered over the blank circle next to his name, and the certainty that she felt beforehand vanished momentarily. She stood motionlessly at the booth, watching the people around her make their decisions without hesitation. Although she could not see who the others were voting for, it became clear to her that such confidence came without the fear of judgment or impending guilt.

As a nervous habit, she bit down on the beads of the Rosemary that her mother gave her years ago. Cooper wears it around her neck to remind herself of her faith. And, it was because of her faith that she realized that the best decision she could make for her country is to choose representatives who have similar Christian values, which included the Republican candidate. So, she did not question her misgiving or change her mind about voting for him. Instead, Cooper just did what came naturally to her when she had second thoughts about Trump: she ignored it.

However, the results of the election gave her mixed feelings. On the one hand, she was pleased to know that Hillary Clinton would not be the next president of the United States because she thought that it was time for an outsider to run the country. On the other hand, she felt nothing but guilt while scrolling through her Twitter page on that fateful day.

Trending topics that ranged from “#HateWon” to “#StillWithHer” began to give Cooper buyer’s remorse. It was then that her support for a man whom the majority of her peers saw as a threat to their fundamental rights had gradually declined.

“Everyone already knows that this election was unusual, but the backlash afterward is what really made me re-evaluate how I saw Trump,” she said. “It made me think back to when I brushed off the insults, the tweets, and the rhetoric that he was using to make my opinion about him valid. As a Trump supporter, I disregarded his language that targeted certain people.”

Cooper admits that her vote contributed to the dismissal of other women and minorities. Unbeknownst to her at the time, she became part of the astounding 53 percent of white women who supported Trump — a base that was likely to go to Clinton. Looking back on it, she feels regret for not taking into consideration which Americans would not feel safe in Trump’s America, and the actions of the administration so far has further fueled her disappointment. Then, her disappointment became anger, which motivated her resistance.

“I know that it’s not just my fault, but I do regret my mistake,” she said. “Now, the whole country — and possibly the whole world – has to pay for it.”

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